witchplz: (catface)
2014-05-07 11:41 pm
Entry tags:

(To: Roach Boy)

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(530):

She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
witchplz: (catface)
2014-03-19 02:43 am
Entry tags:

To: (Princess)(the little one not the albino one)

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(+61):

yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
witchplz: (Default)
2014-03-13 03:46 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(+44):

Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
witchplz: (Default)
2014-03-13 03:43 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(858):

someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
witchplz: (uh)
2013-11-05 11:59 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(630):

your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.

(630):

also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
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witchplz: (teehee my ass)
2013-11-05 11:53 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(603):

I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
witchplz: (Default)
2013-10-15 12:18 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(306):

he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
witchplz: (Default)
2013-08-22 01:26 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(775):

The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
witchplz: (Default)
2013-08-07 05:26 am
Entry tags:

To: (Kittypon)

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(920):

You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
witchplz: (Default)
2013-08-07 05:24 am
Entry tags:

To: (Cockroach)

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(506):

I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-26 04:49 am
Entry tags:

To: (Cockroach)

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(479):

Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-25 06:06 am
Entry tags:

To: Worrick

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(616):

Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-25 05:52 am
Entry tags:

dont look at me do not talk to me no one saw this

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(530):

It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-25 05:33 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(206):

Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?

(360):

What are you gonna do about it?
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witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-25 05:24 am
Entry tags:

die

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(440):

My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-25 05:22 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(519):

Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-24 06:17 am
Entry tags:

To: Princess

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(775):
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-24 05:59 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(954):

He left his cock-ring in my truck.

(305):
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-24 05:18 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(314):

I am not getting you a goat.

(479):

Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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witchplz: (Default)
2013-07-03 08:59 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

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(702):

He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.